Capitol
Punishment: a Novel, by Neal P. Gillen.
Bloomington, Indiana: AuthorHouse. 211 pages. Hardcover
$29.50, paperback $17.50. ISBN 1-4184-9661-8
Here’s a Washington (D.C.) novel
which, in its way, may be the Washington novel to end
all Washington novels. Reading it, to be sure, is by no
means as punishing as the title might be interpreted to
suggest, but this yam is a murder mystery, not a
political tract — even though most of the fictitious
principals are high-level members of Congress or
political lobbyists.
And even though one of several
fiendishly clever murders in the plot is attempted in a
Talbot County duck blind near St. Michaels, and the
décor of a restaurant on Harrison Street in Easton is
exquisitely described, this is a pure Washington murder
story, not a picturesque Eastern Shore novel. One minor
character is a Talbot County policeman who, deep in the
book, helps a Federal Park Service detective from D.C.
more or less solve the crimes, but the victims are all
members of Congress, including a majority leader, a
minority leader, and a Speaker of the House.
Several characters are
archconservatives, and at least one is a fairly
archliberal. Some are crooked, some fairly honest or
idealistic, and some take bribes and cheat on their
spouses, including one cabinet secretary. Unlike the
real federal government at this time, the fictitious
government in Capitol Punishment controls only one house
of Congress.
There are many, many characters in
the story, maybe a few too many. Each one is described
in considerable detail in a fictitious biography and has
a fictitious name, which is often mixed in, and may be
easily confused with, the numerous real names and
behavior of real federal office-holders, past and
present, naughty or nice. The author, Neal P. Gillen,
lives in Potomac, works in nearby D.C., and also wrote a
novel about a payroll robbery, SugarTime. Did I mention
that his new book is a pure-d Washington novel? Gillen
drops scores of real political names in Capitol
Punishment — e.g., Strom Thurmond, George W. Bush, John
and Bobby Kennedy, Joseph McCarthy, Lyndon Johnson,
Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, Phil Gramm. Few of the
fictitious are as nice (or as naughty) as some of the
real public servants, but I guess they add to the
atmosphere of Our Nation’s Capital (site of the
Capitol). The novel’s disclaimer says: “The places,
events, situations, and characters are purely fictional.
Hopefully, the events described herein will never occur
in real life. Certain real locations and public figures
are mentioned, but the use of public figures is
fictional and all other characters and events described
in the book are totally imaginary....” The murderer of
the fictitious legislative talent is identified but
never arrested in Capitol Punishment. You ask: Isn’t
justice ever done? Well, yes, but I’m not squealing
about how.
Joe Van der Katt and the Great Picket Fence,
by Peter J. Welling. Gretna, Louisiana: Pelican
Publishing Company. 32 pages. $15.95. ISBN
9781589802810
And here’s an educational (and
amusing) new story for people 6 or older who can read.
It’s set the Catskill Mountains in “the town of
Litterbox, New York,” which is described as “a Dutch
settlement,” but is occupied by lower animals, mostly
cats. It stars some proletarian cats named “Joe Van der
Katt,” his wife “Mary Lu,” their poor neighbors named
“Wobbly” and “Gompers,” a very rich “Fat Cat” factory
owner who wears a monocle and is named “J. Paul Kitty,”
several unnamed bulls who are his enforcers, and a frog
or two who are spectators.
Fat Cat Kitty cheats Joe Van der
Katt and his other employees when Joe asks for a pay
raise for all of them after they’ve picked J. Paul’s
Catawba grape harvest and have built a 10-foot
protective picket fence around his factory. So... Joe
and the proletarian cats go on strike, and ... but no,
no, no! Again, it wouldn’t be kosher of me to give away
how the plot thickens. Maybe you could Google “Wobbly”
and “Gompers” on your handy computer and figure it
out.
The Dutch settlement, by the way,
is decorated with signs and cartoon-style dialogue
balloons written in Dutch, but if you don’t know Dutch
already, you don’t have to buy a Dutch-English
dictionary to learn what they mean. They’ve already been
translated by Joseph P. Welling, Theo and Nina Kooij and
listed in a Dutch-English glossary at the end of the
book. The author and illustrator, Peter J. Welling,
teaches writing and illustration courses for Indiana
University and Purdue. I recommend his Joe Van der Katt
and the Great Picket Fence.